Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
