..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
