so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
