She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
