your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
