New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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