Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
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