I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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