ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
