i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
