is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
