My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize