How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
