What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
