Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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