hotel room ftw
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
