pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Randomize
