I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's not a walk of shame if you run
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
