That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
