I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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