I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
