Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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