So drunk its hurt
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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