How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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