How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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