Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
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