plz talk dirty to me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
