One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she pinky promised me she was 18
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
