Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
