Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
