I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
