i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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