He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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