i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
