no, he came in my armpit
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize