worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
