i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
