Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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