I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
There was a lot of him and a little penis
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
