Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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