Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
