Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
"it" just moved
i think i have herpe
just one?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
