Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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