Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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