so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
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Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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