I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize