the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
