Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
