so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
