If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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