Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
