but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
