Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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