i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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