someone threw a dead crab at me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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