her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
