I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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