What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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