um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
