oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
