let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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