You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
