I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
