So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
