just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
