yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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