girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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