Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
